the blog Synergy

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I Want To Be A Daddy Fifty Years From Now

My grandpa was a tall broad man with thick hands and a firm jaw. I remember him wearing overalls, a white undershirt, and workboots. He grew up on a farm outside Gypsum, Kansas, but he never wanted to be a farmer. In World War II, he flew 100 missions as a tail-gunner, but he never spoke of it. He wasn't a big talker. He died at 74. That was fifteen years ago.

We don't talk about him very often, but when we do, my mom still calls him "daddy." That says something about the man. I hope my daughter is still calling me daddy fifty years from now. It seems like a long way off now, but then, forty seemed like a long way off twenty years ago and now it is here.

It's not hard to believe I am forty years old.

I like to think of myself as a realist, whatever that means, but time mystifies me. Upon reflection, yesterday seems surreal and tomorrow feels more like a prayer than certainty.

Tomorrow is Monday. I will be working from home, because both Julia and Andrew have Halloween parties at school. Alisa and I will decide who will attend which party in the morning.

I am grateful for this opportunity. I realize many working parents don't have the degree of flexibility that I do. This flexibility is due, in part, to the culture of my workplace, but would not be possible if not for the efficiency and success of my team.

I am fortunate. In addition to having a wonderful family at home, I have a wonderful family at the office.


  • At 1:39 AM, Blogger Trevor Gay said…

    Excellent Troy - having two families - home and work - is a brilliant concept - I had never thought of it that way - thank you.

    I am of course now a Grandad and I love it.

    I also feel us boys also need to love, appreciate and really get to know one's Dad while he is around.

    I miss my Dad - he died suddenly 11 years ago and I never really got to know him as well as I feel I should have.

    I am also in the process of writing something like ‘a letter to Sebastian’ my new Grandson so that he knows something about his Grandad - when he is older and can understand. I often wish it would have been to know more about my own Grandad - he was a wonderful man – I loved him dearly - and I would love to know more about his thoughts, his beliefs, his values and his life experiences as a younger man.

  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger Rosa Say said…

    Wonderful post Troy; you brought so many thoughts to mind for me about my own dad and how much I miss him, and about how little I knew of both my grandfathers, only remembering the warmest things about them. My mom has told me so many times that "when I look at you I see so much of your dad" and that is always such a comforting thought that he and his father are so much an undeniably part of who I turned out to be - such it will be for your daughter too, I'm sure.

    Trevor, it is terrific that you are writing that letter for Sebastian. Both of my children read my blog writing with a mixture of wonder and amusement, saying it's "mom gone professional, but still the real mom - weird" and I often think of those interviews with actors who say they choose scripts differently once they become parents and must consider how their children will see them. However a letter is still so personal and such a giving thing to do; with your talent for such sincere writing of heart,Sebastian will truly cherish it one day.

    Whew, such thoughts for this Halloween Monday when my own children are far beyond costumes, candy, and trick or treating!

  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger omm said…

    Good bless to you Troy! You are indeed a lucky one, I guess it is not by chance :-)

    BTW thanks for posting about this kind of stuff too,it is very much appreciated.

  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Felix Gerena said…

    You are a lucky man, Troy. I hope your life keeps being such a source of harmony in the future.


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